“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey

How we talk and how we listen are always important, but when the pressure is on, this becomes even more important. During a stressful time, misunderstandings occur more easily and sometimes add more stress or pressure to the situation. At times like this, it is helpful to re-evaluate how we communicate.

Whether we are communicating with our spouses, family members, colleagues or business associates, the three principles for effective communication are speaking carefully, listening effectively and responding accurately. Here are the specific ways to minimise a misunderstanding:

SPEAK CAREFULLY:

Be specific:
Even the best of listeners are not mind readers. Specifically explain the problem. It is highly unlikely that others will know what we want or feel if we leave them guessing.

Stay focused:
Keep to the topic. Don’t bring up old issues and get sidetracked, this is irritating and confusing. Most importantly: don’t say things you don’t mean and threaten things you won’t carry out.

Say it with tact:
Keep comments expressive rather than critical, blaming or all-knowing. Avoid criticism and sarcasm. “I” statements are less threatening to the listener.

LISTEN ATTENTIVELY:

Listen with compassion:
Try and understand the other person’s perspective and try to put yourself in their shoes. It is not necessary to agree with their point of view to understand or empathise with it.

Listen without interrupting:
It is necessary to stop talking in order for you to properly listen and to hear all the words. Concentrate on the words and eliminate both mental and physical distractions.

Receive criticism positively:
Filter all emotional grounds from the facts.

Accept what is said without giving advice:
At times, we can feel or believe that the speaker is wrong, and we would like to offer our advice or tell them what to do. It is best to first listen and to let feelings be heard before responding or offering advice.

RESPOND ACCURATELY:

Get all the facts:
Listen carefully until you understand what is being said. Ask the speaker to clarify anything that you don’t understand. On the other hand, don’t ask too many questions as it can become distracting.

Check your interpretations:
The ultimate goal of communication is understanding. Listeners interpret what is being said. Check with the speaker to be sure what you heard is what was meant. Use questions such as “Do I understand correctly if you say…?” or “Just to clarify, did you mean…?”

Be honest:
Remain honest by saying, “I understand why you feel that way.” Acknowledging the speaker’s feelings doesn’t mean you agree with them.

Listen to yourself:
A snappy response will put others on the defence. Make an effort to listen to yourself while responding. What is your tone of voice? Do you have a positive or negative attitude? All these can lead to defensive responses.

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.” – Lee Iacocca

Since people play an enormous role in anyone’s life, your entire life will go much smoother if you take the time to improve the way you connect with others by developing better communication skills. Before long, you’ll find it easy to connect with just about anyone in any situation. This ability will open up an abundance of new opportunities that would not have been available to you otherwise. That’s the power of effective communication skills.

Until next week,
Stay stress-free,

Author’s note:

All information in this blog was researched for this blog, and is not intended for self-diagnosis or to be used as medical advice. All medical questions should be directed to a healthcare professional such as a doctor or pharmacist.

Follow elev8 on the following platforms:
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Website: www.elev8me.co.za

The feelings we experience are nothing more than chemical reactions taking place inside our bodies.

I briefly touched on the subject of chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) in an earlier blog post related to stress. Refer to this link if you would like to read it now: http://blog.elev8me.co.za/2017/06/27/the-bodys-response-to-acute-short-term-stress-pt-1/.

Are you feeling happy, calm, focused and emotionally stable? You have serotonin to thank for that. When the brain produces serotonin, tension is eased and you feel less stressed, more focused, and relaxed. Serotonin, one of the monoamine oxidase neurotransmitters, is often referred to as the “calming chemical”. You can get this chemical naturally by eating carbohydrates, which will raise the level of insulin in your blood and then trigger a greater ratio of a chemical (enzyme) called tryptophan. This enzyme then rushes to the brain, where it produces serotonin. Tryptophan is found in foods such as bananas, plums and cow’s milk. A diet poor in omega-3 fatty acids may lower the level of serotonin in the brain and cause depression.

Serotonin plays an important role in the regulation of mood, sleep, memory, learning, body temperature, cardiovascular function and endocrine system. However, it also plays a role in the gastrointestinal tract with regard to appetite and vomiting. Low levels of serotonin have been associated with migraines, bipolar disorder, fear, feelings of worthlessness, insomnia, fatigue, anxiety and depression.

Low levels of serotonin can be caused by an anxiety disorder because serotonin is required for the metabolism of stress hormones. In turn, extremely high levels of serotonin in the body have toxic effects and are even fatal in some cases – this is termed serotonin syndrome. Serotonin syndrome occurs when you take medications that cause high levels of the chemical messenger, serotonin, to accumulate in your body. Symptoms can range from mild (shivering and diarrhoea) to severe (muscle rigidity, fever and seizures), and as mentioned can be fatal in some cases if not treated immediately.

There are certain psychiatric medications that regulate the levels of serotonin in the body. Some of them are listed below:

1. Monoamine oxidase inhibitors
2. Tricyclic antidepressants
3. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors

Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAIOs) are used to prevent the breakdown of monoamine neurotransmitters (one of which is serotonin) by inhibiting the enzyme monoamine oxidase that is responsible for that. Hence, they increase the concentrations of serotonin in the brain. They are used for patients suffering from depression, but they may have serious side effects such as hypertension.

Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) were first thought to be antihistamines with sedative properties. It was later discovered that they inhibit the reuptake of serotonin and norepinephrine.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are also used in the treatment of depression. They are classified as new generation antidepressants and inhibit only serotonin’s reuptake, hence they have fewer side effects.

Major symptoms of low serotonin levels:

• Frequent worry or anxiety
• Trouble falling asleep
• A light sleeper that is frequently and easily woken
• Frequent moodiness
• Strongly self-critical or feelings of guilt
• Craving sweet or salty foods (especially later in the day)
• Obsessive behaviour – perfectionist, controlling or neat freak
• Easily addicted to sugar, alcohol, TV or games (things you enjoy)
• Unexplained muscle pains

Ways to increase serotonin levels:

• Add more tryptophan to your diet by eating more bananas and plums and drinking cow’s milk.
• Book a massage to get your serotonin flowing.
• Boost your B vitamins.
• Soak up some vitamin sun (D).
• Add more magnesium to your diet.
• Find ways to be more positive.
• Exercise more often.
• Get more vitamin C in your diet.
• Practise self-care to reduce stress.

By implementing some of these ways to increase your serotonin naturally means you may have to shift long-standing habits. The outcome will be that you are rewarded with feeling better, sleeping better and feeling like your mind is more clear. You owe it to yourself to create healthy habits that will keep you feeling energised for longer!

Until next week,
Stay stress-free,

Author’s note:

All information in this blog was researched for this blog, and is not intended for self-diagnosis or to be used as medical advice. All medical questions should be directed to a healthcare professional such as a doctor or pharmacist.

Follow elev8 on the following platforms:
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Website: www.elev8me.co.za

A healthy lifestyle is an essential part of any stress-reduction programme. You can enhance your overall health and ease your struggle with stress by getting regular exercise, eating well balanced meals and avoiding excessive alcohol, caffeine and tobacco.

EXERCISE:

Exercise in combination with stress management techniques is very important for many reasons:

• Exercise is an effective distraction from stressful events.
• Exercise can reduce the harmful effects of stress on blood pressure and heart.

Notes:

• Advise your healthcare professional before starting your exercise programme and start slowly. Strenuous exercise in people who are not used to it can have serious repercussions.
• Combine cardio and weight training, but vary your exercise programme from day to day.
• Take part in activities that you find exciting, challenging and satisfying.

Some more suggestions:

• Sign up for aerobics classes at a gym.
• Try brisk walking (even short walks can relieve bouts of stress).
• Swimming is ideal for stressed people, including pregnant women and people with musculoskeletal problems.
• Try yoga or tai chi. These techniques include many of the relaxation benefits of breathing, muscle relaxation and meditation while toning and stretching the muscles.

Half of all people who begin a vigorous training programme drop out within a year. The key is to draw up a realistic plan and execute it successfully, as that provides feelings of control. Start with just 10 minutes of exercise three times a week and then gradually build these sessions up to 30 minutes or more.

Finding methods for managing and reducing stress:

1. Identify the source of stress: It is advisable to keep a diary to record daily events and activities. The first step is to note activities that put a strain on energy and time or trigger negative feelings such as anger. It is also recommended to note positive experiences such as those that trigger a sense of accomplishment.
2. Question the source of stress: Ask yourself the following questions:
   • Do these stressful situations meet my goals or someone else’s?
   • Are these tasks reasonable to accomplish?
   • Which tasks are under my control and which not?
3. Add stress-reducing activities: Elimination of stress is rarely possible. However, there are ways to reduce its impact, such as:
   • Listening to music – music is an effective stress reducer in both healthy individuals and people with health problems. Research has found that listening to soothing music could decrease blood pressure, heart rate and anxiety levels.
   • Taking long weekends or holidays.
   • Planning time away should the source of stress be at home – even if it’s for an hour or two a week.
   • Owning a pet. Research found that pet owners have a lower blood pressure increase in response to stress than people who do not own a pet.
4. Humour: Research has shown that humour is a very effective mechanism for coping with acute stress. Keeping a sense of humour in difficult situations is a common recommendation in stress management.

RELAXATION TECHNIQUES:

The benefits of relaxation techniques include:

• Slowing heart rate
• Lowering blood pressure
• Slowing your breathing rate
• Improving digestion
• Maintaining normal blood sugar levels
• Reducing activity of stress hormones
• Increasing blood flow to major muscles
• Reducing muscle tension and chronic pain
• Improving concentration and mood
• Improving sleep quality
• Lowering fatigue
• Reducing anger and frustration
• Boosting confidence to handle problems

Relaxation techniques include the following:

• Deep breathing
• Massage
• Meditation
• Tai chi
• Yoga
• Biofeedback
• Music and art therapy
• Aromatherapy

Rather than choosing just one of these techniques, experts recommend sampling several to see which one works best for you. Try to practice these techniques for at least 20 minutes a day, although even a few minutes can help. The longer and the more often you practice these relaxation techniques, the greater the benefits and the more you can reduce stress.

Until next week,
Stay stress-free,

Author’s note:

All information in this blog was researched for this blog, and is not intended for self-diagnosis or to be used as medical advice. All medical questions should be directed to a healthcare professional such as a doctor or pharmacist.

Follow elev8 on the following platforms:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/zembrin/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elev8_brunel/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Elev8_Brunel
Website: www.elev8me.co.za

The task of learning how to control stress is lifelong. By getting control over your stress, you won’t only improve your health, but also increase your ability to succeed.

WHEN TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP FOR STRESS

A lot of physical and emotional illness can be the result of stress and should be professionally treated. Numerous symptoms of stress are usually mild and can be managed with over-the-counter medications, discuss these symptoms and treatment with your healthcare professional:

• Aspirin/Ibuprofen for tension headaches
• Antacids/Anti-diarrhoea medications or laxatives for mild stomach discomfort.

You should also speak to a healthcare professional about physical symptoms that get worse or that keep you awake at night. A mental health professional should be consulted for unmanageable acute stress or for severe anxiety or depression. Usually, short-term therapy resolves stress-related emotional problems.

There are also assessment tools available online to help identify details of stress such as difficulty relaxing, being agitated/irritable and determine whether depression and/or anxiety is also present.

I decided to take this online test for research purposes and got the following results:

Oh boy… guess I have to start reading my own blogs 🙂

To find out what your scores are, click on the hyperlink below:
https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html
NB: These online tests should not be used to self-diagnose.

CONSIDERATIONS FOR CHOOSING A STRESS-REDUCTION STRATEGY

Several factors should be considered upon choosing specific strategies for treating stress:

• Usually a single method is not ideal, and a series of approaches should be considered.
• A method that worked for someone else won’t necessarily work for you.
• Bear in mind that stress can be both positive and negative. Appropriate and controllable stress invokes interest and excitement, and could also motivate a person to greater achievement. A lack of stress may lead to boredom.

As discussed in previous blog posts, stress may also make people vulnerable to illness. Consult a healthcare professional or psychologist if you experience any other medical or psychological conditions such as heart symptoms, significant pain, anxiety or depression.

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES TO TREATMENT

Most people succeed in relieving acute stress. However, once they feel better, they often go back to previous stressful thoughts and behaviours because of outside pressure or old habits. The following are obstacles to managing stress:

• Many people perceive relaxation as threatening because you ‘have to let your guard down’.
• People are afraid of being perceived as selfish if they engage in stress-reducing activities that benefit only themselves.
• Some people believe that certain emotional responses to stress, such as anger, are natural and unchangeable features of their personality. Research has shown that with cognitive behavioural therapy, individuals can be taught to change their emotional reactions to stressful events.

By reducing stress and staying relaxed, your mind will clear in order for it to begin the appropriate actions to get rid of stress-related conditions.

Don’t forget to read next week as I will be discussing lifestyle changes as an essential part of any stress-reduction program.

Until next week,
Stay stress-free,

Author’s note:

All information in this blog was researched for this blog, and is not intended for self-diagnosis or to be used as medical advice. All medical questions should be directed to a healthcare professional such as a doctor or pharmacist.

Follow elev8 on the following platforms:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/zembrin/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elev8_brunel/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Elev8_Brunel
Website: www.elev8me.co.za

Unsatisfactory and/or high workloads, unrealistic deadlines and over-management in the workplace. Sound familiar? According to a new survey, conducted by mental wellness advocate Pharma Dynamics, 31% of participants referred to their jobs as extremely stressful. 40% described the job stress as being mild and a mere 29% cited their job stress as being manageable.

According to Pharma Dynamics, these are the most stressful jobs in South Africa:

Several studies are now suggesting that job-related stress is as threatening to health as smoking or not exercising. Stress weakens concentration, causes sleeplessness and increases the risk of falling ill. Work stress can also lead to harassment or even violence on the job. At its most extreme, chronic (long-term) stress places a load on the heart and circulatory system that in some cases may be very serious.

Studies suggest the following job-related stressors may increase health risks:

• Not having control over decisions that affect one’s responsibilities.
• Relentless and excessive performance demands.
• Lack of effective communication.
• Lack of job security.
• Working night shift, long hours or both.
• Not spending enough time at home with family.
• Salaries not matching levels of responsibility.

Many companies put extreme pressure on their employees to behave in ways that can increase tension. However, there are numerous effective tools that could be used to assist with reducing stress.

• Communicate your concerns about job stress to someone in the HR department or a sympathetic manager. Work with them in a non-confrontational way to improve your working conditions.
• Establish a network of friends at work and at home who will listen and understand.
• Reorganise priorities and eliminate unnecessary tasks.
• Learn to focus on positive outcomes.
• If your job is unbearable, plan and implement a career change. Send out your CV or try to get a department transfer within the company.
• Be sure to schedule pleasant activities and physical exercise every day during free time.

We can’t remove or escape job stress as it is a fact of modern life, yet we can try to counteract stress in all areas of our lives by filling our everyday life with meaningful actions, thoughts and beliefs. Everyone deserves a happy and relaxed life.

Until next week,
Stay stress-free,

Author’s note:

All information in this blog was researched for this blog, and is not intended for self-diagnosis or to be used as medical advice. All medical questions should be directed to a healthcare professional such as a doctor or pharmacist.

Follow elev8 on the following platforms:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/zembrin/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elev8_brunel/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Elev8_Brunel
Website: www.elev8me.co.za

Have you ever seen the meme that says: “I’m done adulting” or “I can’t adult today”? Raise your hand if you have ever felt the need to go back to your childhood, where you would not have the worry of paying bills and could just be carefree. I certainly have (and still do)! When my 8-year-old tells me how hard school life is, I usually respond with how hard it is to pay bills and ensure that my children get the education they deserve to be able to ‘adult’ one day. I do realise that this is not the ideal way to respond to her complaining, but just how hard can the life of a grade 2 student be?

Academic pressure:

Stress can start at a very early age, from preschoolers with separation anxiety, to primary school students with both academic and social pressure – especially the pressure of trying to fit in with their friends. As parents we tend to welcome all the extracurricular activities that are available, as it will teach our children responsibility, right? Not necessarily! Some children are just too busy to play creatively and to relax after school because of all these activities. After school, my daughter attends aftercare and I know that they don’t get time to relax, as there are a lot of children who need attention with maths, reading, writing, and so forth. It is actually very scary what children in grade 2 must be able to master in the short time frame they have. They start to feel pressure from parents to perform academically with good grades and being able to read English and Afrikaans (our first language is Afrikaans). At the end of the day, all these lead to the children not wanting to take part in all their activities. It will benefit them if you sit them down, talk to them about it and then decide whether to continue with the activities or not.

Social pressure:

I can’t seem to remember whether I experienced the same social pressures as my daughter at the age of 8. Honestly, the things she comes home with are nothing short of horrifying. When my daughter was 7, she refused to eat too much as it would make her gain weight. I was shocked at her remarks, as I am not generally someone to complain about my weight or talk about losing weight. She wanted a flat tummy and would look at herself in the mirror and moan about her tummy. I eventually had enough and forbid everyone in the household from using the ‘fat’ word. I must say that it’s better now and I think she accepted the fact that she is indeed not fat. So where did this come from? My opinion – social media, magazines and hearing her friends talk about celebrities. They start to idolise celebrities at young ages and seeing how ‘perfect’ these women look after the Photoshop session only adds to the pressure. Want to try and explain to an 8-year-old that the photo was probably edited? Grab yourself a cup of coffee, and good luck!

Parental stress:

Do you often complain about your job or financial status or argue with your spouse in front of your children? Children will pick up on these worries and then take it upon themselves to also worry about it. Parental stress, especially in mothers, is a particularly powerful source of stress in children.

World news can also influence children. Hearing or reading about terror attacks, murders and missing persons can have a massive impact on their mood.

Gender differences in adolescent stress:

Adolescent boys and girls experience equal amounts of stress, but the source and effects may differ. Girls tend to become stressed from social situations, and stress is more likely to lead to depression in girls than in boys. For boys however, specific events such as changing schools and getting poor grades appear to be the major sources of stress.

As parents, we try to do our best with our children and it is not always possible to keep them out of harm’s way. The best way to help them cope with these stressors is by:

• Observing out loud: Tell your child when you notice something is wrong with them. Be sympathetic and show that you care.
• Listening to your child: Ask your child to tell you what’s wrong, and then listen attentively and calmly.
• Limiting stress where possible: If certain situations are causing stress, see if there are ways to change things.
• Just being there: Sometimes children merely need you to be there and don’t necessarily want to talk about it. Let it be.
• Being patient: It hurts to see your child unhappy and stressed. Try to resist the urge to fix every problem for them. Instead, focus on helping your child grow into a good problem-solver – a child that knows how to roll with life’s ups and downs and to bounce back and try again.

We can’t solve all the problems our children experience. We need to teach them healthy coping strategies, thereby preparing them to manage their future stress.

Until next week,
Stay stress-free,

Author’s note:

All information in this blog was researched for this blog, and is not intended for self-diagnosis or to be used as medical advice. All medical questions should be directed to a healthcare professional such as a doctor or pharmacist.

Follow elev8 on the following platforms:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/zembrin/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elev8_brunel/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Elev8_Brunel
Website: www.elev8me.co.za